The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

Being in a relationship can bring so much joy and happiness to your life.  Making memories with your partner by your side is a beautiful thing and something I feel so lucky to have been blessed with experiencing.   We all have all have a desire and passion for love in a relationship and part of what attracts one person to the other are the things that make us unique.  We are all hard wired a bit differently, so no one person is ever really the same. Although initially opposites tend to attract, this can also make it a bit difficult to fully understand one another.

Nowadays there is a new way to think about love.  Have you heard of the term love languages? Love languages describe the way we feel loved and appreciated.  Depending on our individual personality types, we may feel loved differently than how our partners do. Being able to understand and decode the languages of love will help you take the guesswork out of your partners expectations and needs.

Here are the 5 love languages and what they mean

Words of Affirmation.  This love language expresses love with words that help build your partner up.  Verbal compliments really dont have to be complicated. Sometimes the shortest and simplest words of affirmation can be the most effective.  Some examples of simple and direct complements are:

–         Your hair looks great today

–         Your smile lights up a room

–         That dress looks amazing on you

Words mean a great deal to a person that speaks this love language.  Compliments and an I love you can go a long way. On the flip side to this, negative or insulting comments can hurt this person and they can often take longer to forgive others.

Acts of Service.  If your partners motto is Actions speak louder than words, then they might fall under this love language category.  This love language best expresses itself by doing things that you know your spouse would like. Some examples would be:

–        Cooking dinner

–        folding laundry

–        running an errand

These are all acts of service and require thought, time and effort.  Acts of Service must be done with positivity and with your partners ultimate happiness in mind to be considered an expression of love.  If your actions are out of obligation and with a negative tone, that is something else entirely.

Receiving Gifts This one isnt meant to be materialistic.  It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your loved one feel appreciated and loved.   Something as simple as picking up their favorite dessert after a long work week, can make a significant impact on this love language.

How this differs from Acts of Service those are purely helpful and contribute to taking work off of your partners plate.

Quality Time This love language is built around undivided attention.  This means no televisions, no cell phones or any other distractions.  They think talk is cheap and the type of action they want is to be your main focus.  This doesnt mean you cant curl up on the couch to watch HBO or Netflix, it just means that you need to make sure to dedicate time together without all of the distractions.  Consider taking a hike with your partner in the redwoods, focusing on your surroundings and one another.  By doing this it will help them feel comforted in the relationship.

Physical Touch With this love language, absolutely nothing is more impactful than the physical touch of their partner.  They arent necessarily into over-the-top PDA (public display of affection), but they do feel more connected and safe in a relationship by holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc.

If this is your partners primary love language, without it they will feel unloved.  All of the words in the world wont change that.

Putting time and effort into understanding the way your partner expresses, appreciates and feels about love is essential.  It helps set and secure a solid foundation that you can build a deep, meaningful relationship on. The more you learn about one another, the more you grow.